Betraying Your Unconscious

I got in an argument with my neighbor a few minutes ago.  She was saying that she didn’t care who I was, I was disgusting.  The problem with her criticism wasn’t that she was wrong, even though she is.  What I found interesting was that she focused on my status or relationship to her to determine whether she valued me.  I hadn’t appealed to that in the slightest.  All I was saying was that people don’t deserve to be tortured for a disease they have that has changed their personality for a while, especially when a lot of those changes are influenced by others around them instead of from their self.

The funny thing about the statement is that it appears to discount status in one’s life as a reason for doing something.  Since I never brought that up though that means she was considering regardless of what I said.  Which means that is what she values.  Which makes her incredibly shallow.

What she’s really saying is that she doesn’t take ideas into account but who is saying them.  Which leaves me with this conclusion, she has no idea what her unconscious motivates her to do.  She didn’t even respond to the argument in an applicable way.  The logic wasn’t present.  She does this repetitively as well.  Just repeating the same thing over and over again without thought.  When asked for an explanation she screams she doesn’t have to give one.  This happens all day.

This should obviously call into question her most serious claim, that she is not neurotic or fetishizing the idea of gay people.  She spends all day on that thought fantasizing that I am gay and trying to bring that into reality.  It’s fucking ridiculous.  The amount of time she and others spend on the thought betrays how little they can think about something else.  How the thoughts, imposed by them, of an injured person can drive a ‘sane’ individual crazy, or at least to the point of obsession.

And what is that obsession over… homosexuals.  They think about it ALL day.  It is non-stop, yet they vehemently deny that it is because of anything within them.  Yet it is them who think about blowjobs all day, them who think about men being turned on by men, them who wish to talk about the topic ALL day for a year.  It’s crazy to think that people who can’t even understand their motivation behind ‘not caring who your are’ would have any idea as to why they are obsessed with homosexuality.

They are obviously status seeking and ignorant of the actual thoughts and motivations of others.  Their arguments and actions would be much more effective if they were not.  Of course, then they wouldn’t be doing this because they would be more intelligent.  But there afraid of that because that would make them a fag.  The amazing quandary of modern masculinity in America.

Which leaves me at this.  They are obviously afraid of being homosexual even though they don’t recognize.  That’s really the central point.  They stay within their social situation because they feel like they can’t leave.  They don’t see another way for themselves because they are unconscious of their motivations in general.  They are unconscious of their motivations because they never matured past the point of idolizing someone based on status or ‘closeness’ of relationship.  (By closeness I’m referring to proximity not actual emotional reciprocation.)

My philosophy professor was saying yesterday that at some point between 16 and 25 people have the opportunity to create their own personality and achieve a sense of individuality.  It is probably possible after that as well but by that time lifestyle, diet, and habits are probably engrained to the extent that most people don’t feel like changing them.  Of course some will say that neuronal growth slows at that point but that is because of lifestyle.  People can continue that upward trend with the correct lifestyle, mainly being healthy. 

These people have not gotten past that stage.  They rebelled against their parents but it wasn’t a true rebellion.  It was temper tantrum meant to elicit attention and follow tradition.  The break from their conscious never happens.  As a result one remains ever stuck in an attitude of where is the authority even if ‘authority is not the issue’ or doesn’t matter’.  The fact that authority plays a role even when it doesn’t come into play is what is at issue though. 

Thoughts do not matter to these people.  Issues and reasons are null.  Everything seems to follow off what has happened before.  There is no innovation within their reasoning.  Life is dead essentially besides the monotony.

That’s the problem with society.  We have no sense of why we do things.  We do not pay attention to reasons.  We do not mature.