Tall Trees

So I’m starting a garden.  When I originally went into this I was told it was going to be a permaculture project.  An old man who was disabled with a stroke had donated some land to start a garden on his farm to an group this woman I had met though facebook was a part of.  All I had to do was call him and I could show up when i wanted to.  It was exciting.  I had needed to meet some new people.  I had taken a chance on adding this random woman I’d seen on Facebook.  It worked out perfectly, suprisingly.

When I arrived I thought Terry, the owner who had had the stroke would be permanently disabled.  Not able to talk, barely able to get around, and sheepish around people.  I thought Jennifer would be professional and interesting, very outgoing, and with many contacts through a decently sized environmental organization.  I expected to walk into something that was well run.  Something where I was an outsider because I was the one who was a little unreliable and sketchy.

I began to realize it wasn’t really that way though.  Things were much more complicated than that.  I’d contacted Jennifer for the first time on January 15, 2012.  I met Jen, Terry, Ellie, and Jim on February 10.  It had taken me less than a month to meet her face to face.  That had surprised me since almost nothing seems to move that fast, especially when I get teleology involved.  (I’ll get to that later.)

When I showed up Jen was sitting in the office (the random house on a 10 acre portion of the farm) with Terry and Ellie.  I have no idea what they were talking about.  The yelling I was hearing from next door was too much and my memory was still awful.  (A story for another time.)  Everyone except Terry seemed a little on guard about my presence except Terry.  He didn’t seem threatened, which doesn’t mean he was that open to me.  No one blew me off though which was a good first sign.  Jen really opened up the floor for me to talk.  She introduced me as the kid from the university I was attending who was interested in permaculture.  They asked what my interests were, a little bit more about myself.  I told them about my interest in permafrost, how I wanted to be involved in disseminating information about its degradation.  I probably told them my clathrate story to some extent too.

Jen’s support was awesome, just what I’d needed at the time.  She was standoffish and unsure of me to some extent.  She probably made a couple asides when I was and wasn’t paying attention.  I can think of one in particular but it wasn’t bad.  Comparatively she was amazing. We’d exchanged messages over facebook practically everyday up until.  Very long and thorough messages.  She told me she normally didn’t go into as much depth with people as she was with me.  I was surprised with how quickly it escalated.  It made very hopeful.

Aside from that Terry apparently wasn’t feeble at all.  He just had trouble reading, writing, and remembering things.  He couldn’t drive anymore and Jen was taking him everywhere.  He had a vision for a community to be built on the farm.  It almost seemed like he wanted a commune there.  We walked back into this little forest at the point in the property where the high-tension power lines bisect it.  We passed a bunch of old junk, pallets, and a couple old Ford tractors on the way.  Terry still has his heart set on fixing those tractors.  In the forest, in a tiny clearing, Terry had a couple beach chairs with a bottle of Bailey’s sitting out.  Jen made some pretty strong comments about it at the time but I didn’t realize how serious she was until later.  I just blew it off.  Terry was talking about how he wanted to build a treehouse village on that part of the property.  That got me kind of excited, slightly blown away, and a little worried about how many people were involved in this thing.  It turned out there weren’t many.  I was imagining different contractors and people with jobs who in their free time wanted to build a community based no money and freedom gathering to start a place where everyone could work together.

Ellie was talking about starting a restaurant/pot luck in a cafe near the farm’s entrance.  It sounded like a great idea.  Jen suggested they only do during the summer once a month.  At that point I should have realized the project wasn’t what I was hoping it would be.  I never saw Ellie after that day.  It was pretty disappointing.

We’d been walking around the garden plot earlier, talking about how it was going to work.  Jen said they were planning on 3 different teaching plots.  One would be organic, another “permaculture”, and the third biodynamic.  Her friend Tracy was going to help with the biodynamic plots.  Jared was supposed to help plan the permaculture work.  This guy named Cliff had ideas for fencing and just generally wanted to help.  It was all very cool.

We wandered into a clearing  just south of where the gardens would go called the Sanctuary.  Pines stood tall over the entire clearing with large rocks placed a little distance away from each other.  It was a cool place.  Jen was talking about listening to the trees.  I think that’s the day she told me about the photosynthesis story with Irena.  They were talking about how she’s gotten everyone to dance there at the Summer Solstice Festival in 2011.  Ellie was talking about her kids and how they would love that area.  I could barely pay attention the entire time.  I was in and out of the conversation with people shouting at me ruining my concentration.  I’ve progressed so much since then it’s unbelievable.

We headed back to the office and they were talking about how they would fund everything.  I couldn’t follow any of it.  Ellie had heard of a you could get a small cash injection to rent or start up a kitchen.  Nothing happened with any of it.

As it got darker it was snowing.  I don’t know when it started snowing but there was a lot of it.  Jim dropped by, sneaking up to the office window and rapping on it, surprising everyone.  He sat down and after a little while Ellie had to leave.  Jim was talking about his random herbal adventures.  He’s an herbalist who I feel has helped me a lot.  Jen mentioned she was taking grapefruit seed extract  and he told her the way they process it produces dioxin which is then present in the final product.  She cut her usage down drastically but she was still taking it as of a week ago from what I gather.  Jim also though reintroducing wolverines to the lower peninsula was a *good* way to control the deer population.  Apparently wolverines can eat anything, bone and all.

Once we were finished with our conversation we all got up to leave the snow had piled up to over half a foot.  I needed a brush for my car and waited as Jen dug through her Aztek to find it for me.  I brushed it off then gave it to her.  I told her she should probably brush her car off too.  She said something about how she didn’t really need to since she lived so close.  She said she might go to her Grandma’s in Wolverine Lake though and stay there so it was probably a good idea.  I waited around for her.  When she didn’t come over to say by I figured I’d force the gesture to make sure I wasn’t turned out immediately.  We said bye and she thanked me for bringing everyone together on that day.  She had this belief that nothing was going to happen without me which I thought was hyperbole.  I thought it was hyperbole until about a week ago.  I should’ve just taken it as the truth and been gracious for the compliment but that wasn’t possible at the time.

I eventually went out with Jen.  She’s taught me a lot even if she thinks she hasn’t.  She kept saying I’ve been more beneficial to her.  I can’t see how that’s the case though.  She’s taught me how telepathy and teleology are interconnected, the same thing basically.  She was my first encounter with real purpose.  Something of that nature.  The underlying fabric of reality.  I’m not sure if she really understands that.  At this point in time I would never go back and take away my experience with her.  We were entirely in synch for a little while.  Entirely.  Every time she sent me something I would be there a minute later to respond to it.  We were thinking exactly the same things for a little bit.  It was a much needed vacation from the bitterness that surrounded me.  It’s built me up substantially.

This is a jumping off point for the conversation on teleology and its meaning.  It should be a synthesis of my thoughts on consciousness, karma, group mind, telepathy, teleology, and many other things.  I’m not sure how to approach this.  That’s part of why I’m doing this.  Everything will be a fleshing out.  Thought will be melded hopefully.  As time progresses I want to connect the posts together to form a complete thought, a running narrative.  That narrative should form a basis for what we should call my thought on purpose, revelation, and the future.  It should be built on Derrida’s l’avenir, or the ‘to come’.  He defines it as the future that is unforeseen.  The future which has not been predicted and is not held in the consciousness of the other.  It is this to which I wish to speak.  It is that which I am in.  It is that to which we are all headed for I believe.

I do not think many of us have a firm grasp on the future or the current human/ecological condition.  And when I say ecological I don’t mean environmental, I mean the interrelationship of everything.  This is where teleology can be most helpful.